If you’ve seen any sitcom in the past 25 years you likely have experienced a scene highlighting a minor problem that causes either or both of the parents to freak out. A call gets made to the pediatrician, and they’re either told, “It’s no big deal,” or “Come in, and we’ll take a look.” The former is far more common, and the latter usually results in a co-pay for no good reason. My wife and I strive to ensure we only contact our pediatrician for real problems.
I don’t have to have a medical degree to know that excessive crying and irritable behavior are usually just symptoms of a baby or toddler’s existence. Not of some problem that will have far-reaching implications. The internet is a double-edged sword when it comes to diagnosing these symptoms. It can serve as a tool for reassurance or an instrument of doom. I’ve even fallen victim to the worst-case scenario that is presented. On the other hand, the internet has calmed me down and prevented senseless calls or messages to our pediatrician’s office.
This isn’t to suggest that pediatricians don’t have value. Quite the contrary. I received a recommendation for a pediatrician from a good friend of mine, and we are huge fans. This guy has an excellent bedside manner, knowledge we rely on, and a willingness to answer even the most elementary questions. Maybe we always get his best because we’re not calling his office day and night thinking our daughter’s temper tantrums are anything more than her being a baby.
I think we accidentally found a parenting hack. Our pediatrician’s office is on the opposite side of town. Because of that, my wife and I use our judgment to determine if a problem is important enough to battle traffic. If even a tiny part of my traffic-hating brain thinks I need to make that trip then it means I believe my daughter is going through SOMETHING. If the office was only down the street, it would be pretty fucking tempting to turn everything into SOMETHING.
One issue parents, particularly new ones, fall for is the ‘helplessness’ factor. I wrote recently about how the newest generation of parents (of which I am a part) treat children as if they’re stupid. We set such a low bar for our young children to clear physically and emotionally. And then, if they’re even a little wobbly, we make it worse by swooping in to ‘protect’ them.
I know the feeling. I was horrified watching how nurses in the delivery room were handling my newborn baby. When I was shown the different variations of how to burp her, I found myself wanting to throw a punch at the female nurse who was grasping my baby’s neck too hard. At least, I thought it was too hard. It turns out babies, even the newest of them, are resilient. They’ve been operating this way for thousands of years.
If it applies to newborn babies, it reasons that even more latitude should be shown to 6, 12, 18, or 24-month-old children, too. Sniffles happen. Teething is a bitch. Irritability is a nightmare. We’re actually living through a growth spurt/teething phase. That’s been fun. But we haven’t called the doctor about it.
Again, this isn’t to say a pediatrician has no value. We’ve called the office three times about three different issues in 16 months.
First, our daughter developed a case of hand, foot, and mouth disease. My wife learned this from a search of symptoms and pictures. My first reaction was, “What the fuck is hand, foot, and mouth disease?” That sounded like a disease that cows get. A fun DuckDuckGo search showed I was onto something. And if you think our country is a shit show now, imagine our state affairs if one cow gets it and the beef industry ceases to exist for several weeks.
Anyway, we were asked to give a description of what was happening. We were then assured it was something that would pass. No medication was needed, except for some over-the-counter liquid Tylenol. It seemed like we dodged a bullet. Not really.
We had an issue around the five-month mark. Our daughter was constantly spitting up milk and was beyond irritated. She was flat-out inconsolable, especially when we put her down for naps. A quick DuckDuckGo search explained that the culprit was likely a common issue at this stage–acid reflux. While it was something we knew would pass, a prescription for an acid reducer was going to make life easier for mom and dad and tolerable for baby girl. We called the doc. This time we were asked to go into the office. Acid reflux was the diagnosis, an Rx was written along with guidance that we add oatmeal to her milk. The issue was resolved in a week.
The third time was one of those embarrassing calls my wife takes full responsibility for. For a couple days, our daughter’s poop looked weird. A DuckDuckGo search alerted her that the color of the stool could mean potential kidney failure. We took pictures and made the call. I forget exactly what the nurses said, but it was one of those, “Relax, everything is fine,” calls.
We’ve experienced other scenarios, including a couple colds, that would have triggered calls to the pediatrician’s office by 9/10 parents. But we reasoned that babies get sick. And if they’re really young, there’s essentially nothing that can be done. Let them sleep longer, provide comfort when you can, and ride it out. Besides the fact that I despise daycare, I don’t know how parents who constantly worry make it some days. Our pediatrician informed us that parents should bake in two to three weeks a year minimum that daycare kids will be sick. Can you imagine calling a doctor each time they develop a bug because they put their mouth on a toy that 20 other kids licked?
All that aside, I am here to assure you that you probably don’t need to contact your pediatrician about ‘that’ problem. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, then certainly act on that feeling. But the odds are if your gut isn’t shooting off flares into your brain your worst-case scenario is the car ride and pediatrician co-payment. Inevitably, you’ll waste your time, even if it’s only a few minutes, calling that office. Relax, breathe, and use common sense. Don’t turn everything into SOMETHING.
