Babies are stupid. Toddlers are stupid. Children are stupid. And, from experience, I can tell you that teenagers are the most stupid. Some aspects of their stupidity are almost entirely due to biology. But I’d argue that most of it has to do with general sh*tty parenting.
Humor my ‘old man yelling at a cloud’ opinion for a moment: parenting ain’t what it used to be. If a child was acting poorly a few generations ago then there would be consequences. And the consequences weren’t light like a credit card being taken away. Also, the punishment certainly wouldn’t have been chosen by the child. If you don’t know that I’m referencing the Sopranos then 1) how dare you, 2) view this video to understand, and 3) after reading this article, buy a MAX subscription and watch every single episode. You’ll thank me later.
Parenting Keeps Getting Worse
‘Parenting’ seems to have devolved from the high point (raising independent children) to what it is now (I want to be friends with my kids). What the fu*k is it with people needing everyone, especially their non-adult children, to fu*king like them?
It’s so bad that I was legitimately stunned when my wife told me about a quick conversation she had with an aunt of mine at a recent party. My 15-month-old daughter was doing something stupid that she shouldn’t have been and my wife said ‘no’. I don’t know what, but likely something the lines of jamming small objects into her mouth, getting herself wet from the water in a dog bowl, or perhaps just deciding to literally walk off a two step porch and land face first into the ground (that happened right in front of me a couple weeks ago).
My aunt was so happy that my wife said ‘no’. “You almost never hear parents say no anymore,” she exclaimed. She’s seen firsthand how not saying ‘no’ can impact a child. One of her grandchildren is a little terrorist. Though the reasons he is a terrorist can be summed up because my cousin and his wife treat him like God’s gift and the parental strategy is, “let’s do whatever we can to make sure he doesn’t cry”. That kid is headed for a rude awakening in a few years.
Are We Weird?
I didn’t have much time to react because just as soon as I’d heard that, we got home from the party and it was bed time. However, I remembered it about an hour ago and just decided to write an article about it. Strike while the iron is hot, right?
The thought that immediately came to mind was, “Jesus Christ, my wife and I are the abnormal parents”. And it’s true. As I wrote in an article a couple weeks ago, we’re currently living in a time where children as early as two or three are being handed fu*king iPads and cell phones. Rather than dealing with the crying or even being okay with letting temper tantrums run their course, parents in 2024 seemingly only have one goal—doing whatever they can to make sure their kids don’t inconvenience them.
Anywhere But Here Please
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly perfect. I’ve succumbed to weakness more than once. There have even been instances when my daughter is acting so poorly that a car crash or someone running into my house to shoot me becomes a pleasant daydream. But then I snap out of it and realize that there’s only 18 more years of this. And then I sob and immediately go back to daydreaming.
I kid (a little bit) about the last sentence, but the point remains—parenting, especially parenting pissy kids, is tough. But that’s not an excuse to let your kids do whatever the fu*k they want. That won’t help them learn or grow. It certainly doesn’t prepare them to deal with the sh*t they’ll have to deal on a daily basis as adults outside of your home.
Too Many ‘Nos’ To Count
Today, I have probably told my daughter ‘no’ 15 different times—at least. Just a few of the things that she’s done off the top of my head: grabbing my fishing pole while I attached a hook, putting an acorn in her mouth, running (yeah, we’ve reached that phase) towards the street, putting chalk in her mouth, throwing food from her high chair, and grabbing a package of baby wipes from the counter (another new phase). The only reason I probably won’t tell her ‘no’ another 15 times is because my wife will be home around 5:00 for some mommy-daughter time, and she’ll have the ‘pleasure’ of saying ‘no’.
And for all those people reading this and saying, “no shouldn’t be the only negative word your child hears”, I couldn’t agree more. Mixing a “don’t touch that”, or “don’t do that”, or, during those times when you’re on the edge, “fu*k, don’t do that either”, is valuable. But seriously, only hearing the word ‘no’ can make it meaningless. Kind of like the word “racist” or making an excuse every time Joe Biden loses his balance.
Now I’m not going to give these liberals credit by linking their articles to my site, but a Google search of, “why saying no to babies is bad” will make you want to pull your hair out if you’re anything like me. The kinds of parents who don’t tell their kids ‘no’ may be sparing them that word during childhood. But I’d be willing to bet the 40-year-old fast food cashier that their kid turns into will hear that word a lot from their part-time manager who is attending high school.
We Must Allow Our Children To Make Mistakes
None of this should be construed as being overbearing. As I stated plainly many times, I want to raise self-sufficient children who can problem solve. If I come in to tell my daughter ‘no’ every single time I think she’s doing something stupid then how would she learn not to do stupid things? I want my daughter to fall, I want her to scrape her knee, I want her to even *gasp* bump her head into a corner every once in a while. Will there be crying? Absolutely. But I can assure you that the small bumps and bruises she’s gained along the way has prevented similar or even worse things from happening to far.
It’s the same strategy we intend to employ as she ages. We want her to make the smaller mistakes to prevent the big ones.
So even though I know my daughter will be disappointed, angry, or think I’m the worst person every so often, I can live with that. The word ‘no’ is an investment. By using it a lot now, I’m ensuring she’ll need it less later. Oh, yeah, and maybe later on she’ll like me, too…..
