transition to big kid bed

How We Successfully Transitioned Our Daughter To A Big Girl Bed At 16 Months

So far, my daughter has grown within the stable environment we’ve created. My belief is that children, particularly the youngest of them, cannot thrive if there’s even a hint of chaos. They can somehow pick up when parents feel stressed. As a result, they become stressed, cranky, or whatever adjective you’d like to use to describe a child who isn’t operating at his or her best. As parents with a daughter who will not yet be 18 months by the time our baby arrives, we’re more sensitive than most about disrupting this ecosystem. But disrupt it we must.

Reading About The Transition

For the first two months, a bassinet by my wife’s side of the bed was the baby sleeping location of choice for two young parents. After that, baby girl was placed in the crib that her father mother fu*ked for a couple hours while putting it together. And that’s where she’d be for the next 14 months. But with a baby boy on the way and dad having no interest in purchasing a second crib, we decided to start the grand experiment; baby girl sleeping in a big girl bed.

If you read anything online about the transition to big kid beds, horror stories will inevitably cross your eyes. The warnings of doing it too early conjure up the memories you thought you’d long forgotten of getting no sleep for months with a newborn in the house. Side note: yes, I often wonder why a) we’re having another child and b) we want to do it another time or two after this. Yes, I’m kidding. Mostly.

transition

Stories of tantrums, crying, and babies refusing to sleep in their new arrangement are bountiful. But we had faith that our successful efforts to get our daughter to sleep would transition with her from crib to bed. And we were right!

The Purchases We Made To Make The Transition Successful

No, it wasn’t as easy as putting her in this bed and closing the door. After all, you need the room to be baby-proofed because these little humans will destroy everything in their path. You also need to buy a bunch of sh*t to turn it into a room where your child will want to sleep.

We decided to purchase the same exact furniture that’s in the nursery. Nothing went wrong with the items and they served their purpose, so why mix it up? We re-purchased this dresser and this nightstand. We had an old bookshelf that we spray-painted white to match those two pieces of furniture. Finally, the last piece of furniture is a kid’s play table. I bought these wall anchors to prevent our little monkey from pulling the furniture down on her. Speaking of baby-proofing, cord hiders for the wall sconces, Blink camera, and baby monitor are a must. So too were the outlet cover boxes.

In addition, we bought a second Hatch Sound Machine. I cannot speak highly enough about these sound machines. So fu*king helpful.

The Transition Trial Leads To The Real Thing

I won’t bulls*it here; I was terrified of doing this. First, I want my daughter to be comfortable. There is a time and place to ‘push’ them into unfamiliar circumstances to help them grow, but that can’t really happen until you can communicate with them outside of saying, “You’re so cute,” or “Please stop trying to chew through a cord or put your finger in an outlet.”

Second, if this transition didn’t go smoothly we would be forced to purchase a crib and completely redesign her new room.

So we did what any sensible parents would do: put her in bed for a nap. Surprisingly, even to us, she went down quickly and slept for as long as she usual. “Beginner’s luck,” I thought to myself. Before we put her in the big girl bed for a full night, I had to see it happen again. The next day was the same story. It was a Friday, so we attempted the ‘final exam’ that evening.

I won’t drag this out; she was spectacular. She cried for about 30 seconds, settled herself, and then stayed in bed until we came to get her the next morning.

Miracle Baby?

I’ve learned more about the human condition in 16 months as a parent than I did in the 32 years prior. There’s no greater example than the insistence by some people in our lives to write off our success as lucky or claim that God delivered us a miracle baby. I wrote about that here.

The implication that we’re lucky pisses me off. It discounts the steps taken and sacrifices made to parent successfully. I know I shouldn’t be pissed. These people use it as a defense mechanism. Instead of tackling the root issue of passing their children off to complete strangers for the entire year, they resort to smirking and commenting, “Just wait until the next one.” As you can tell, my wife handles these comments better.

Acting as if our daughter sleeping regularly, hitting milestones early, or having an overall good demeanor is as simple as manufacturing something on an assembly line is laughable. Not as laughable as these people sleeping in the same bed with their 4, 5 or 6-year-olds, but close. Dr. Freud is on the line.

Self-Soothing Is The Secret

After the successful transition to the big girl bed, I am convinced that allowing a baby to figure out how to self-soothe is the secret to parenting at this age. It doesn’t hurt to try to keep the sleep circumstances as similar as possible. However, since sleeping through the night consistently, our daughter has fallen asleep in a variety of venues. A car seat, pack-n-play while in a different state, crib at my parent’s house, and a twin-sized bed in the corner of a new (to her) room.

self-soothing

The only things that have consistently been the same are a white noise sound machine and a pacifier. That’s it. No rocking to sleep, no bottle in the middle of the night, no sleeping in the same bed. White noise and a pacifier.

If Things Were Different

Had she not taken to the bed well we would’ve kept after it. At that point, it was seven weeks before baby two’s due date. That’s one of the reasons we tried so early. We built in a timeframe that would allow for failure.

If it didn’t work during those seven weeks then we would have the unenviable task of re-training a toddler to sleep in a new bed with sleep deprivation as the result of a new baby. It certainly wouldn’t be ideal, but parenting rarely is.

We wouldn’t have given up though. We owe it to our daughter to put her in a position to succeed even if it causes us frustration. I am so proud of this blonde haired beauty for not putting us through that though. Maybe she is a miracle.

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