I have wanted to write about Harrison Butker’s speech for a little bit now. However, the delay has been intentional. I wanted time to not just reflect on the message, but also to see how the ‘cultural elites” would frame the message. It turns out, my decision to wait paid off just the way I thought it would.
Oh The Outrage
In case you’ve been in an area without access to wifi for the past couple weeks, you’ve likely heard about the commencement speech the Kansas City Chiefs’ kicker gave to Benedictine College. You likely heard about it because the pricks and leftists across the media are still hurling accusations of misogny, homophobia and other terms at him that have become so overplayed over the past 10-20 years that they no longer really hold significant meaning in American society.
As you have come to expect though, my take is a completely different one compared to the talking heads on MSNBC, ESPN, CNN, etc. While I may not agree fully with every single word of Mr. Butker’s speech, it’s mainly because I’d rather the words be in a different order.
I would need about an hour to write 3,000 words about the entirety of his speech, but I am mostly going to just focus on the societal aspects the three-time Super Bowl champion mentioned in his nearly 20 minute address.
Before going further, if you have only read the headlines or watched a snippet of the speech then I can assure that you are doing yourself a disservice. I strongly encourage you to read the whole speech, which is linked here.
Good Things Come In Threes
For now, I want to focus on what I believe are three of the more important paragraphs of the outstanding speech Mr. Butker delivered that deal with fathering and being a man:
“It is only in the past few year that I have grown encouraged to speak more boldly and directly, because, as I mentioned earlier, I have leaned into my vocation as a husband and father and as a man.
To the gentlemen here today, part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities. As men, we set the tone of the culture. And when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction and chaos set in this absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see around the nation. Other counties do not have nearly the same absentee father rate as we find here in the U.S., and a correlation can be made in their drastically lower violence rates as well.
Be unapologetic in your masculinity. Fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy. You might have a talent that you don’t necessarily enjoy, but if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something that you might think suits you better……”
It’s Time To Stop Normalizing Weak Men
You don’t need to take his word for it though. I challenge you to go watch an episode of any network sitcom from the past 20 years where a white male is a main character. With 100% certainty I can predict that he is portrayed as a beta, is always messing stuff up and, most likely, begs his wife or girlfriend for sex at some point of the episode. Why? Because shitting on men, particularly white ones, is a way to ‘get back at the man’, belittle our gender, and make women somehow look stronger.
Unfortunately, the perception of men as weak, inattentive and unaccountable is not just restricted to the writing room at Hollywood studios. Men, especially since the turn of the century, have rapidly shirked our role and responsibility as leaders both in and out of the home. That is for a variety of reasons, but I have no intention of making up excuses for these cowards.
The Truth About Kids Who Grow Up Without Fathers
Time and time again it has been proven that the lack of a father in the household is devastating for the future of children raised in a mother-only environment. These children are significantly more likely to do any of the following and much more: drop out of high school, get pregnant as teenagers, become addicted to drugs and alcohol, and end up in prison. And if you’re reading this article, you likely know all that, plus the reality that people from single parent households make less money and are more likely to run their children through the same cycle and challenges they were presented.
This is all really bad shit. And because it hits minorities hardest, just talking about it brings up the classic, “you’re a racist” line from the left. Why is this happening? I think there are several reasons:
- The feminist movement has sown into the American moral fabric that women don’t need men. They don’t need help. They can do it all on their own. The mere suggestion of asking men for help means they’re less of a woman. That somehow raising people who are a drag on society is better than raising upstanding citizens with their partner. When faced with a choice, treating child rearing as some sort of experiment because you want to try to prove you can do it alone is stupid and, in my opinion, downright evil.
- The Democrat Party is dependent on low-information voters and people who are rely on government. What better way to secure votes, particularly black and Latino ones, than giving government assistance to mothers and children in poverty and then threatening to take it away if any upward trajectory is achieved? Followup that effort with the demonization of their opponents, the Republican Party, by calling racist their attempts to do things like build up the nuclear family, cut unsustainable government spending, and suggest that people should have to work to earn their own money. Do those two things and you’ve gained a lifetime of loyal people voting against their best interests.
- And maybe the most diabolical, if you return to the days when two parents, a mother and a father, raising children was preferable to recreational, meaningless sex, then you will absolutely decimate the extremely profitable abortion industry. And if you destroy the abortion industry then you take away the most important issue of unmarried women—a group that is coincidentally the largest voting bloc of the Democrat Party.
Call it a conspiracy if you want, but just sit back for a moment and think: Why are our leaders not speaking out against this crisis? Why is there seemingly little interest in holding men, regardless of race, who abandon their families accountable for their actions? I encourage you to share your answers in the comments.
Step Up, Men
Putting politics aside, outside of child rapists and murderers, I don’t know if there is a more despicable group of humans than men who abandon their families. I don’t even think you should be called a man if you do that. As Mr. Butker commented, there is no vocation for adult males greater than being a husband and father. If you are neither of those by choice, then what is the point of life? Why are you here?
There is no more substantial legacy you will leave behind than that of your children and there is no better relationship that you should have than with your wife. And I can attest to both of those first hand.
Times Are Changing
When I first found out my wife was pregnant I knew my world and the way I would proceed with my life was changed forever. As it should. However, with most men, that moment can be fleeting. They’ll be there for the cool things. They’ll fit their kids into their schedules the same way they fit their wives into it right now. But too often men want to just work. They’ll leave the role of parent to their wife or, even worse, a stranger at a childcare facility.
But I didn’t want to be the typical man. I didn’t want to sit at a desk for 40+ hours a week doing something that, in the short and long-term, is relatively meaningless. I didn’t want to hand off my responsibility as a father to some childcare worker at a daycare. If my kids are going to be messed up it’s going to be because of me, not someone making $12 an hour down the street.
The Amazing Opportunity To Be A Father
My Good Lord gave me the opportunity to shape a human-being. To shower her with love. To be there for the good times and, more importantly, the bad. To help guide her through what can be a cruel world. To hopefully raise her well enough that she will one day want to be the best mother and wife she can be. Why is that controversial or demeaning?
And, apparently my wife and I did such a good job for the first nine months, that the Good Lord blessed us with the (planned) opportunity to do it again with another child—this time a boy, in August. We are excited and blessed for the challenges that lie ahead in the process of raising two children.
Mr. Butker’s words, “Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy” resonate with me now more than ever. Being a father is hard. Not being a father is the easy. Similarly, being a husband is hard. Not being a husband is easy.
Step up. Challenge yourself. Do hard things. Don’t take the easy way. Be the best father you can be to your children. Be the best husband you can be to your wife. Be a man.
